Jasper and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

***Warning: Surgery Photos Ahead***



Jasper was neutered tonight....

R and I got back from dinner just in time to see number 2 go...

Jasper left these behind at the hospital tonight.

Puppy still passed out. He also had two teeth pulled since they were loose, and the adult teeth were coming in.

Jasper after just waking up, and feeling a little groggy.

Worlds tiniest puppy was next to Jasper in the kennel. She got bit by a big dog, and has a broken neck. She's the sweetest thing ever, and doesn't have a home (I think one of the techs might adopt her, or at least foster her).

Jasper got revenge and wet my pants for me on the way home. Well, maybe not so much revenge as just unable to control his bladder after surgery.

Update

Let me first start off by saying that I should not be posting blogs right now. In fact, I should be so sick of writing, that the physical act of typing should make me want to vomit. Except, if I did vomit, words and letters would just come up. Maybe some punctuation marks. It'd be like a mess pile of alphabet soup, except more colorful, like those letter magnets I had as a kid in the 80s (but they still make them today, I believe), but without the magnets so my intestines wouldn't get magnetized together. It happens. You really shouldn't eat magnets.

Secondly, I won't be going private for now. Whatever. This blog is for fun, so we'll just keep it at that. I'm not looking for jobs right now, and it's not like I write about anything crazy, anyway. I mean, really, I just spent a whole paragraph talking about vomiting up letters and alphabet soup. Who WOULDN'T want to hire me after reading that?

My brother said he wants an update on what I'm up to these days (Hi brother!). Hrm. Well, school is what I'm up to these days. Lots, and lots of school. I have no fewer than about 15 papers to turn in this semester, and I'm about halfway through the mess that is my grad school life. Seven more to go, and by the end of it, I'll probably spend my Christmas break in the closet, making the same face as this girl:


I've also taken an obnoxious amount of photos of my dog, Jasper, but haven't had time to post them. But I assure you, they are adorable. His antics as of late, have not been as adorable. My favorite this week have been finding him chewing on my underwear in the backyard for all the neighbors to see, and R having to help him pass a corn husk b/c apparently he managed to swallow one whole, and he was having some trouble getting it out (We have a strange mini-cornfield in the backyard. It only consists of about 4 or 5 stalks of corn. Jasper loves to chew on them, and play with them in the backyard). He who walks behind the rows must have dared him to do it. Sick, man.

But back to the cute photos. The Daily Puppy found my photos of him in his devil horns on Flickr, and they asked permission to feature him with other adorable puppies in costume this Saturday on Halloween. Sweet. I said yes, so check out the site on Saturday. He'll be the handsome devil in...devil horns.

I don't think I have anything else exciting to report, so I'll leave you with one of my favorite photos taken at the Renaissance Festival R and I went to a couple of weeks ago.

"No, I'm not gonna kill ya, I'm just gonna shave a little meat off the 'ol kneecap."

Ohhh, Whoopi

I'm sorry, Whoopi, but rape is rape. Thank you Wendy Murphy for clearing that up for her (and everyone else).

Wendy Murphy: An open letter to Whoopi Goldberg about the meaning of 'rape'

Dear Whoopi;

This week on “The View,” you said Roman Polanski pleaded guilty to “unlawful sex with a minor” but that it wasn’t “rape rape.” So I’ve been wondering - What the hell is “rape rape”?

I know you said your point was to articulate the nature of the crime to which he pleaded guilty – which, you said, was somehow DIFFERENT from “rape.”

It isn’t.

“Unlawful sex with a minor” IS the crime of child rape in California.

So again – I ask you – how is “rape rape” different from “rape”?

Regular folks understand “rape” to mean “sexual penetration without consent” – and of course, consent is irrelevant when the victim is a child.

The law says “rape” means “sexual penetration.”

The dictionary says “rape” is “forced sexual intercourse.”

No matter which definitional source you use, Whoopi, Polanski “raped” his victim.

So I’m trying to understand what you meant when you say it wasn’t “rape rape.”

Did you mean it wasn’t “real rape”?

What wasn’t “real” enough about the crime for you, Whoopi?

A 43-year-old man forced his penis into a 13-year-old child’s vagina – and then he forced his penis into her anus. How is this “rape” but not “rape rape”?

The victim was not only a child, she was also intoxicated because Polanski gave her booze and drugs before the crime. The child protested – told him to stop – but he continued. She was incapacitated to a point where she could barely walk, much less defend herself against her attacker. Is that enough for “rape rape,” Whoopi?

What would have done it for you? If he’d used a knife – or jumped on her in a dark alley instead of a bed? If it had happened at a homeless shelter instead of the mansion of a famous Hollywood actor? If he’d had to remove a trench coat before committing the crime, rather than silk underwear from a fancy shop on Rodeo Drive?

What if the victim had been a little black girl from a triple decker in the poorest part of Los Angeles? Would that have been “rape rape,” Whoopi? Or would you have still offered the same lame excuse you came up with on "The View" – that “people in other countries see things differently” when middle-aged men force themselves on children.

If it’s true that 13-year-old kids in France are so disrespected they can anticipate being attacked by men, you can and should condemn the practice, not chalk it up to a “cultural difference” as if to suggest the United States might evolve one day to a period of enlightenment when we will be “liberated” enough to celebrate the sexual abuse of children.

Your audience is filled with women who need and deserve the empowerment potential in a show like yours. Cultural values are created, in part, through the dissemination of ideas. You had a chance to explain to millions of people why the personal autonomy, bodily integrity and liberty of all women and children is at stake when even one rapist is not held accountable for his actions.

At a minimum, you could have explained how backward we really are in this country – and how the epidemic of rape and child sex abuse serves as a kind of domestic terrorism that interferes with the freedom of millions of people who are affected by the disproportionate failure of our legal system to redress sexual violence. According to a study submitted to Congress in support of the Violence Against Women Act in the 1990s, by then Sen. Joseph Biden, only 2 percent of rapists spend even one day behind bars. Violence against women and children is grossly under-reported and under-prosecuted, and the data consistently shows that crimes against property are punished much more harshly than crimes against female bodies.

Rather than highlight this profound and pervasive injustice, you bemoaned the fact that Mr. Polanski was compelled to flee the United States after pleading guilty to child rape because he was about to go to jail for “a hundred years.”

Many people would argue he deserved such a sentence, and under California law today but not back then, drugging and raping a child would expose Mr. Polanski to a mandatory minimum term of 25 years behind bars. But because he was allowed to plead guilty to only one of six felonies with which he was originally charged – he faced no more than four years behind bars, and some reports say the judge intended to impose a sentence of only a few weeks of incarceration.

Mr. Polanski arrogantly decided that he shouldn’t spend any time in jail, and he fled this country spinelessly for a nation he knew would not extradite him for his crime. If it’s true, as has been reported, that he took off because he thought it was unfair that he should go to jail after his lawyer worked out a “no jail” deal with the prosecutor, he had a right to withdraw his guilty plea and go to TRIAL – not PARIS.

That Mr. Polanski would show such disrespect for this country’s legal system is a reason to punish him MORE, not less, for his crime. It may be a decades-old case, but it bears stating the obvious, that the law should not reward fugitives for their successful efforts to evade justice.

Nonetheless, Mr. Polanski is a man of wealth and power, and kids don’t vote or have any money. Which is why people like you are so quick to say things that degrade children. Admit it Whoopi, you’d be talking out of the other side of your mouth if filmmaker Polanski were garbageman Polanski.

Next time, try reading the Constitution BEFORE speaking on this topic. There’s nothing in there that says people of influence should not be held accountable for their crimes. In fact, try focusing on the 14th Amendment for a few minutes – especially the part about how all citizens are entitled to “equal protection” of the laws. Then try reading some of our most basic court decisions that discuss how the law is supposed to protect the weak, and deter the cunning.

You have a 13-year-old granddaughter, Whoopi. What does she call you? “Nana”? “Grandma”?

What if she told you that she had been “raped” by a 45-year-old man who stripped her naked and then penetrated her private parts even as she cried “no.” Would you correct her for using the word “rape”? Would you say, “sorry sweetheart – what happened to you was not a ‘rape rape.'”

No matter how hard some people try to make the crime seem harmless and full of gray areas – it really is quite simple if you think about it the way someone famous once did: “rape is to sex what a punch in the mouth is to a kiss.” Not all punches knock teeth out – but nobody ever says “it wasn’t a ‘punch punch.'”

I will say one thing, Whoopi, in your defense. Maybe we SHOULD give up the term “rape” altogether and start calling it “bodily enslavement.” We could put it in the Constitution as a civil rights crime, rather than in the lowly statute books alongside shoplifting.

I’m thinking if we had initially codified the offense in law where it truly belongs – under the umbrella of fundamental liberty – you might have stopped yourself before saying “it wasn’t a violation of civil rights civil rights.”

Can you see how dumb that sounds, Whoopi?

I hope so – because you are an important voice for women and children and I want you to sound smart.

Wendy Murphy is a leading victims rights advocate and nationally recognized television legal analyst. She is an adjunct professor at New England Law in Boston. She can be reached at wmurphy@nesl.edu. Read more of her columns at The Daily Beast.

And then she followed up into response to Whoopi's attempt at backtracking...

Give It Up, Whoopie
It's time to fall on your sword

by Wendy Murphy

Dear Whoopi;

I tried to be clear in my first letter in the hope you would simply apologize for saying Roman Polanski didn't plead guilty to "rape rape". But in an awkward attempt to put out the flames of outrage, you made things worse by trying to "explain" yourself. You said that what you MEANT was that because Polanski admitted to the charge of "unlawful sex with a minor" - he didn't admit to "rape" because the word "rape" doesn't appear in the title of that particular crime.

I hope someone at ABC tells you to just fall on your sword at this point. It's your only hope.

You see Whoopi, saying "unlawful sex with a minor" isn't "rape" because the word "rape" isn't in the title is like saying sodomy isn't "rape". I dare you to tell that to the thousands of male victims of priest abuse.

Here's some basic legal information you might find enlightening.

In 50 states, there are 33 DIFFERENT phrases in the law that define the act of child rape. Only four include the actual term "rape". But all 33 make it clear that the conduct forbidden by law IS, indeed, rape of a child.

Maybe you made a misguided statement because you felt pressure from your Hollywood friends. That's your business. But you hold yourself out as an advocate for children. You even appear in ads for Toys-R-us - suggesting you care about kids - and speak for "differently abled" children.

Damn it, Whoopi. What are you thinking?!

Roman Polanski has enough apologists. Kids have nothing. Until recently, they thought they had you.

Have you heard what your buddy Polanski thinks about little girls, Whoopi?

From an interview Roman Polanski gave in 1979 to novelist Martin Amis:

z'If I had killed somebody, it wouldn't have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But... f..king, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to f..k young girls. Juries want to f..k young girls. Everyone wants to f..k young girls!"

If this doesn't make your skin crawl and your blood boil - and you continue to try and "explain" your comments about how a grown man forcing himself inside the body of a child he plied with booze and drugs before he attacked her isn't "rape rape", you need to stop calling yourself an advocate for children. Keep doing whatever makes you happy - and enjoy all the red carpet nonsense because your seat at the club will be safe - but please, let someone else speak for the children.

Yours truly,

Wendy Murphy

Hrm

Thinking about going private for awhile. Send me a comment if you actually read this (and you aren't my best friend (s), and want to be invited to the private blog.

Forgotten Gem

Not sure how I forgot to post this excellent video from the honeymoon. This was taken while lounging at the pool at our hotel. The dancers are the activities people. Awesome.

Bits and Pieces of Honeymoon

I kept meaning to write about some of my favorite moments from the honeymoon in Cozumel, but keep forgetting. Life is so busy. Bwahahaha.

1) Getting made fun of by the bartender on our first day at the hotel for asking if the frozen drinks were made with filtered water. "What? Why would I drink something that would make me sick?!?"

2) On our second day a guy from Texas at our resort said to go to this place at the south end of the island called Rastas. He said the area was beautiful, and it looked like Hawaii. R and I were sold, so we got a cab and rode for about 30 minutes to the south part of the island. We get out, and we are surrounded by nothing but an empty bar, ocean, and lots of dirt. The cab driver THEN tells us that we can't catch a cab this far out, and that he could come back in about 3 hours if we pay him first. We give him the money, and off he goes.

We then head over to a little entrance to a park where there's sea turtles, gorgeous snorkeling, etc... It's at least $10 to get in. We realize we gave the last of our cash to the cab driver, and the park doesn't take cards b/c there's no signal out there. Awesome. Basically, we get laughed at for a few minutes, and they tell us that even if we did get in, we'd still need a car b/c it's another 20 minute drive to get to the beach. Sigh. They try to call the cab back to come get us to take us to an ATM or back to town, but I'm guessing they couldn't get ahold of him (we also later found out that he lied to us about the time by 2 hours, so we would've been stuck out there for FIVE hours!). Then along came our angel, Julie. She's a local, and just happened to be going back to the city, and she offers to take us back in her air-conditioned truck. Yes! Julie was awesome. She told us all the good places to go, shop, and eat. We tried to pay her, but she wouldn't accept our money, and she told us we made her day (our situation was humerous to everyone). We went back to the park a few days later with a rented car. It was worth it, b/c we saw sea turtles while snorkeling. Hooray!

3) Playing music trivia by the pool on our second night in Cozumel. We just wanted to see what it was all about. They would either tell you if the song was from a movie, to name the artist, to name the song, or to name the song and the artist. Then you had to shout "Arriba Arriba!" to answer. When the Harry Potter theme came on first, I knew it was going to be a good game. Between Rusty and I, we totally dominated. Unfortunately, they gave the free bottle of tequila to the guy who got second place, and I got a lousy, super giant t-shirt.

4) After watching about 30 minutes of video about how to handle the dolphins, and what we would be doing with them, I still messed up the "dolphin kiss". My hands came out of the overlap position, and while I was "smiling at the camera" the trainer said "And...you just touched the dolphin's eye." Great job, Megan.

5) Getting "This is Why I'm Hot" stuck in my head everytime I went through the buffet line at the resort.

6) Renting a car, driving all around the island, and laying in a hammock drinking a Pina Colada, and R and I being the only ones on the beach. Then driving further down the coast to enjoy fresh lobster on the beach.

7) Seeing and/or swimming with turtles, sea turtles, geckos, iguanas, birdies, dolphins, sting rays, crabs, and fish, fish, FISH

8) Discovering on our last day that we could have rented an underwater digital camera for $45, and taken up to 350 photos with it. Doh!

9) Discovering on our last day that those shells I found actually DID have crabs living in them. "Hurry, we need to run back across the street and put them in the ocean!!!"

10) Finding awesome luchador masks.

I don't know if you know this or not, but...

...my dog is kind of adorable.

Rawr! Rawr! Rawr!

Weddings and Puppies

I've been meaning to blog, really, I just haven't been motivated. I have photos, I have videos, I have stories, but the actual typing of the stories makes me feel like I have extra homework, and I'm only in my second week of classes.

But tonight, since I REALLY don't feel motivated to read any of my books, I'll do it. It's a procrastination tactic. I'm good at those. I even did the dishes in order to avoid my reading, and I really hate doing the dishes.

So, two major things:

1) August 1, R and I got married. It was fabulous, and no, I don't have photos yet. Believe me, they will be everywhere when I get them. I cannot wait, mainly 1) R's cousin is an awesome photographer, and 2) We took photos at some pretty cool places.

And of course, one of my favorite parts of the day was getting caught in some branches on stage right after the ceremony. That's right. We had branches in pots on stage as our decor, and on my way down the steps to make my grand exit as Mrs. Kugler, my birdcage veil gets caught on one of the branches, and I nearly take the whole thing down. It was awesome. I laughed so hard I cried, and for a good five seconds no one did anything except laugh at me until my bridesmaids came and saved me. I'm not sure if there are photos of that, but I'm pretty sure it's something I'll never forget. The rest of the night was a big, fun blur. We had a photobooth (Photos are HERE), which was a great hit, and the photos are hilarious. I can't wait to make a coffee book of all of them.

2) As a wedding present, my lovely friend DN brought me this little guy. He's basically the cutest thing on four legs I have ever seen. A bit of a trouble maker, but I love him. His name is Jasper, and he's sleeping on my lap right now. It is awesome.

Jasper was 7 weeks when we got him, and he is now almost 12 weeks. He knows the words sit, no (kind of), down (almost), and I'm teaching him "Look at me". He's also learning the meaning of the word "off" in regards to jumping on the couch due to my trusty water bottle that I spray him with. Bwahaha. It's the only way, I've tried everything else. He has also learned how to go up the stairs, and recently down the stairs. And unfortunately, tonight, he just learned how to successfully jump up on the couch after a few tries. Off!!!